Real Reason
by Logorrhea
Summary: What Juudai knew about hadn't been enough to make Edo give up on Saiou, but it happened anyway. Edo can't quite bring himself to explain though, espcially not to someone like Juudai. Noncon. Oneshot.


Juudai asks one day what exactly had changed when they were against Saiou. What had made Edo turn against Saiou, instead of keeping his distance and not trusting. Not trusting but still staying faithful because this was Saiou, and Saiou had been everything to Edo. Edo looks up at Juudai, pauses, before simply mumbling something about the tag duel against Mizuchi, and talking to the spirit of his father during his duel with DD. Almost tells Juudai the truth (not that what he says is really a lie, just not the whole truth), but he can't bring himself to spoil that innocence. Doesn't want to make Juudai guilty, because Juudai's a hero who still hasn't learnt he can't save everyone, and Edo doesn't want to have to be the one to show him he's already fighting a losing battle. Deep down Juudai might know, but Edo still can't bear even to imagine the look on Juudai's face if he hears the truth.

So he keeps quiet as Juudai walks away. When Juudai's gone, he closes his eyes and tries to forget (he'd almost managed until now, except for the nightmares he still has even now, replacing his old nightmares of his father's murder).

Tries to forget the hot breaths in his ears. Hands everywhere, all over him and inside him and sickening, and the pain. Painpainpain_pain_. Blunt nails raking along his skin, teeth digging into his neck. Hot tongues sweeping over skin soaked with blood and sweat and come, making him shudder and fist his hands in the covers to stop himself from screaming. Clamping his eyes shut to hold back tears and biting his tongue until it bleeds so he doesn't cry out.

Trying to block it out as they each take their turn with him, the others laughing in the background as they push him so close to breaking again and again and again. Can barely stop himself from flinching as one of them slaps him, hissing for him to open his eyes, calling him a slut somewhere along the way. As Edo opens his eyes, too close to breaking to even attempt his usual arrogance, another slap in the face makes his eyes water, and another one of them laughs about how they've made him cry. The one that slapped him gives Edo a sickening grin, and Edo tries to work out if this one's taken a turn yet. Doesn't think he has, and can't help wondering why he's being made to open his eyes, even though he's sure he doesn't want to know.

This one hisses something at him again, and for a few moments Edo can't work out what he's said. Something about staining his clothes, and Edo stares blankly for a time before finally taking in the bloodstains on the too-white clothing. Can't help but let out a slight whimper, and all around they laugh before hands descend on him again. The last of them taking their turns before finally leaving him.

Edo stays still, and eventually his battered body forces sleep to claim him. When he awakens he's stiffer than he was before. Still caked in blood and come, still stinking of it. Even though he knows he should get out as fast as he can, something tells him they won't come back for a while, so he gives in and shakily makes his way into the bathroom. Finding himself glad that the Obelisk dorm isn't quite luxurious enough to have baths instead of showers, because he's pretty sure sticking around long enough to let a bath run isn't the best idea. His mind keeps screaming that getting back to his boat would be the best idea, that he has a perfectly good shower there, but he's _dirty_ and he can still feel their hands all over him.

He sets the shower entirely too hot before stepping in, crying out as the scalding water hits him. Scrubs at his skin and collapses to his knees, sobbing as the water runs over his skin. Claws open the wounds they made on him and scratches hard enough to make a few of his own, and still he feels dirty. He continues in this manner until the hot water cuts out, when he cries out again. Only stays in long enough to wash all the blood off of his skin now, before bolting out of the bathroom as best he can on still-shaking legs.

He searches the room for his suit, and finds it eventually, screwed up and half under the bed. Shakes it out before wrinkling his nose and shoving it back under the bed. The suit's past saving, caked in blood and ripped in various places. He staggers over to the wardrobe, where a few Hikari no Kessha uniforms hang. Edo doesn't want to wear something that reminds him so much of his attackers, but he reminds himself again that he has to leave. Pulls on one of them and sneaks out. Skulks to his boat, ignoring the looks he gets from various Ra and Osiris students. Makes his way immediately into the bathroom and his own shower, once again pushing himself under scalding water.

A seagull squawks loudly near the boat, drawing Edo back to the present, and he shakes his head. No, there are definitely some things Juudai should never know about him.


End file.
